There’s a difference between being respected and being liked. But there’s a special kind of power in being both.
There’s a difference between being respected and being liked. But there’s a special kind of power in being both.
In the world of engineering, technical brilliance often takes the spotlight — clean code, optimized systems, and innovative architecture. But behind every successful product lies something more subtle: people who know how to work well together.
Many developers start their careers believing that great work is about being right, defending their code, or proving their ideas. Over time, they learn that true success isn’t about winning arguments — it’s about helping the team win.
I’ve worked with people who were technically brilliant but emotionally tone-deaf. I’ve also worked with others whose kindness and reliability made every project smoother.
The difference is night and day.
Here are 10 practical ways to become the person people want to work with — the kind of engineer who inspires trust, respect, and collaboration.
1. Let Go of the “Always Right” Mindset
Being right means nothing if it damages trust. Listening doesn’t mean you’re wrong — it means you’re wise enough to see the bigger picture.
The truth is, in engineering, there are often multiple right answers. Your approach might be elegant, but someone else’s might be simpler, faster, or more practical for the team.
Maturity comes from choosing collaboration over ego. Great engineers don’t just build features — they build alignment.
When you start seeing debates as opportunities to learn, not to win, everything changes.
You stop defending your code and start defending your team’s success.
2. Make People Comfortable Asking You Questions
If teammates hesitate before messaging you, something’s off.
Your tone and attitude can either make you a mentor or a wall.
Knowledge hoarding might make you feel powerful for a while, but knowledge sharing makes you invaluable.
When someone asks a “simple” question, remember that you were once in their shoes.
Explain things patiently, and if you sense recurring confusion, document it.
The best developers don’t just write reusable code — they create reusable knowledge.
A team where people freely ask questions moves faster, breaks less, and builds better.
Your openness becomes part of the culture.
3. Deliver Without Drama
Reliability is quiet power.
Everyone remembers the developer who delivers consistently — not with fireworks, but with calm focus.
They’re the ones who don’t panic when production breaks; they just roll up their sleeves and fix it.
When you deliver without drama, you create psychological safety.
People know they can count on you. You become the anchor when things get chaotic — and every good team needs an anchor.
This doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions; it means handling pressure with maturity.
You can say, “This is tough,” without turning it into tension.
That emotional balance is rare — and it’s magnetic.
4. Handle Delays with Empathy
Sometimes your progress depends on others. Maybe design isn’t ready, or backend hasn’t exposed the endpoint. It’s easy to feel frustrated.
But empathy transforms delay into dialogue.
Instead of snapping, ask, “How can I help move this forward?”
Maybe someone’s stuck, burnt out, or juggling too many tasks. Offering help — even just a small hand — turns blockers into breakthroughs.
Empathy doesn’t make you weak; it makes you effective.
People remember how you treat them when things go wrong more than when everything’s perfect.
5. Show Up Early, Look Sharp
Professionalism is underrated in tech.
Whether remote or hybrid, showing up early and looking put-together signals discipline.
You don’t do it to impress — you do it because you respect the work.
I once worked with a developer who never missed a standup and was always prepared before anyone else.
Over time, his reliability became his brand. That’s what happens when consistency meets respect — people trust you more with bigger responsibilities.
Even in a casual environment, “showing up” well — physically, mentally, and emotionally — sets the tone for excellence.
6. Be Prepared for Every Meeting
Meetings are often where leadership visibility happens — even for non-leaders.
If you walk into meetings without clarity, you waste time.
But when you come in with points, blockers, and updates ready, you stand out.
Preparation also means listening actively. Don’t be the person who waits for their name before paying attention.
Follow the flow, note key decisions, and offer insights when relevant.
Your preparedness signals respect for others’ time.
Over time, people will start turning to you for context and clarity — because they know you always come ready.
7. Keep Your Word, Always
If you say you’ll do something, do it. If something changes, communicate early.
Reliability is the quiet foundation of trust.
Teams thrive when promises mean something.
When your word consistently aligns with your actions, you become a cornerstone of predictability — a rare and precious trait in fast-moving teams.
Think of it like version control for your character — every fulfilled promise is a commit to your reputation.
Guard it carefully.
8. Bring Energy, Not Ego
You don’t need to be the loudest voice in the room to lead.
But your energy matters — it’s contagious.
A calm, positive presence often does more for morale than a 10x engineer’s brilliance.
Smiling, greeting people warmly, checking in with teammates — these small gestures compound into goodwill.
They make people look forward to working with you.
Ego isolates. Energy connects.
Be the one who lifts the room, not drains it.
9. Code Like You Care About the Next Developer
Readable, maintainable code is empathy in action.
It’s your future self’s thank-you note to your present self.
Write clean functions, use meaningful variable names, leave clear comments.
Don’t just write for the compiler — write for the human who will debug it at 2 AM six months later.
When people read your code and smile because it’s clear and considerate, that’s a form of craftsmanship.
That’s legacy-level work.
10. Lead by Example, Not Title
Leadership isn’t about hierarchy — it’s about influence.
You lead when your actions inspire others to do better, even when nobody’s watching.
Whether you’re a junior or a CTO, every project gives you a chance to model excellence: how you handle stress, feedback, failure, or success.
Your consistency and fairness will echo louder than any job title.
The best leaders don’t need authority to command respect — their work and attitude speak for them.
Closing Thought
At the end of the day, nobody remembers how perfectly you optimized that query or structured that API.
They remember how you made them feel while doing it together.
So don’t just be the person people have to work with — be the one they want to work with.
That’s how great teams are built, and lasting careers are made.
